Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out?

No matter where we are or what we are reading, we are hearing about couples getting divorced.  It used to be somewhat infrequent, but it seems to becoming more prevalent in our world today.  It is sad, as I feel that most people just don't want to truly work on marriage as marriage is HARD.  When people have a hard time, they run away from their problems. 

President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught us that we must fight for our marriage.  We must work at it. 

In April 2007 General Conference, Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a talk on divorce.  He said, "I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache."

I really loved this conference address by Elder Oaks.  You can tell of his love and the sincerity in his voice, about how concerned he is about divorce.  He also talks about people contemplating marriage.  He says, "In all of this, we should realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection." 

Elder Oaks quotes President Spencer W. Kimball: “Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage … means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.”

We must fight for our marriages.  However, we must also realize that it isn't great to live with abusive relationships.  People should seek out counsel from their religious leaders and do all they can to save their marriage.  Your marriage is between you and the Lord.  You must do all you can to make sure that the three of you are actively involved in all decisions.  The Lord knows all and he can truly direct us.

Having married someone who is divorced, it is never easy on anyone, especially the children.  I've been married to my husband for 10 years now, and he was married to his first wife for the same amount of time.  Hearing the things that happened in his first marriage, I think, "phew, we are safe".  However, marriage is something that each of us need to work on.  Kind of like your testimony.  Just because you shared your testimony once, doesn't mean that it grows, if anything it slowly dims.  Same with your marriage, you must work at it, continue to nurture it and have your love for your spouse grow.

(“Divorce“, Dallin H. Oaks, April, 2007).